Chapter 9

Time to pause, take a long breath and look around….

My daughter started settling down in her school, and her working hours stabilized. This gave me almost four hours to myself. Slowly I started learning to divert my mind away from the constant worry of hoping that she is fine, not troubled and not troubling others. I would go to the gym and clean the house during this free time. But I felt that I was not utilising this precious time usefully enough. Hence, I approached a nursery school in the neighborhood to do some voluntary work. I chose to work with children, whom the teachers found difficult to understand or work with in the classroom.

I joined the Parent Support Group of my daughter’s school and got the opportunity to interact with senior and experienced parents along with heads of the school. Some of the main agendas of this group were:
1. Addressing the issues faced by parents of the children in the the learning centre.
2. Discovering avenues to train these children and hone their different skills when they graduate, organising workshops for all parents for awareness.
3. Creating a bank of good and sensitive specialists.
Being an active member of this group was very encouraging because:
1. I am not alone. We developed a bond.
2. I could access knowledge of a broader spectrum. Children came with different challenges.
3. Sharing our experiences threw light on the mistakes and wrong approach towards things.
4. We learnt more using research which was already done on a particular area.

When my child was in school she was getting exposed to different kinds of stimulations but her ability to express her feelings and discomforts was getting better. Hence, bouts of crying happened which were being handled and taken care of by the educators. Messages were conveyed to me on regular basis regarding situations which would be unsettling her in my absence. Teachers and we parents were partners in true sense, wherein we discussed strategies which worked and which did not.

My daughter’s 1st annual day! She and her friends were dressed up as clowns in bright yellow and they had to stand in line and do some steps on stage. We stood proudly with our cameras ready with all the other parents and we were thrilled to see our doll looking so cute like all the others. No one would have known that she was DIFFERENT if she did not start marching around looking at the crowd and probably trying to find us! My heart sank…maybe she forgot what to do… maybe she did not realise that she HAD to perform! Her class teacher read my face and said with a smile, “she was so settled ….she looked so sweet…” I went home remembering only the encouraging and loving words from her teacher!

On Sports Day our small children had fun races. By now a little more aware, my daughter ran nicely with her buddies holding a toy boat. It was such an achievement for the teachers! I felt so proud of them, their efforts and their belief. It was now the grandparents’ turn to participate. My mother, so proud of her only granddaughter’s performance, walked very fast …. she had totally forgotten about her pace maker and health issues!

That day all I remembered was the song we sang so often in school, “Count your blessings…name them one by one…”