Chapter 16

It is nice to know what others think….it is wise to do what you think!

Why do you want her to study? How will it help? She can learn household chores instead, which will be rather helpful! I didn’t know how to answer this.
There is nothing wrong with doing household chores, which may be correct from a certain perspective! But when you are struggling to accept that your child cannot lead a normal life, handling such comments is a big challenge. This was asked when my daughter was just 5 years old, 21 years back.

When my husband had to shift to a different city and my daughter was 11 years old, someone pointed out that I have tried and done enough for my daughter. She will not sit for an entrance exam or board exam, so why is her schooling so important? Hence, staying back in a different city for a special child’s education is a BAD idea!
Come to think of it, life would have been easier if I had the same perspective! But I chose the difficult path….or chose to create a new path!

My neighbour sent an invitation for her child’s birthday party with my 3 year old son’s name written on it. She called to invite personally and clearly told me to bring him without fail. While I was getting him ready, my daughter got excited and looked forward to get ready as well! I explained to her that it was a small children’s party and not suitable for big girls and boys. But when I reached the party, children of all sizes were there, even those as old as my daughter! My heart broke….
While leaving the party, I did mention to the host that my daughter would have been so happy to be a part of such a lovely party, her response was, “Oh! Do you take her to parties?” I smiled.

After my daughter’s panic attacks started settling down and the days began to seem peaceful, a friend of mine came up with an idea which I am sure, seemed most sensible to her. Keeping my daughter’s future in mind, she felt we could identify a residential institute and start sending her there on weekends. In this way, she could get used to that environment and we would have relaxed weekends without our daughter.
How would I leave her away from home? How could I relax at home sending her away? Could I have meals which were her favourite, without her during the weekends? How would I explain to her why I was sending her away?
I was happy to be her mother, I had no complaints!

Gradually I learnt to:
“RESPECT A THOUGHT WITHOUT AGREEING TO IT”