Chapter 24

Juggling is an art…we all master it!

My daughter’s examinations, her daily school schedule, other commitments made it very difficult to devote adequate time to son, when he was 9-10 years old. I did what was necessary for his health, education and entertainment, found what is called ‘quality time’. But I realized that he craved for more time with me. The time that I gave him was mostly when convenient to me and not necessarily when HE WANTED IT.

Apart from monitoring his studies, homework, co-curricular activities, I had begun teaching him skills to be independent. By 4th grade he started showing good progress in all spheres and was responsibly involved in school activities. I felt blessed and thankful to his teachers in school.

“Mamma why can’t you spend more time with me?” “You are always teaching her….”
This was true and his feelings were justified as well!
I tried to explain: if one of my two legs is broken I need to take care of the broken leg more to be able to walk well….also the broken leg pains and seeks attention!
But does that mean that I am not grateful to God for the leg which is so efficient and strong? Am I not taking good care of the leg which is working hard and taking some load off the broken leg? What will happen if I dont pay constant attention to the broken leg? Will I be able to walk? Can I ever separate the broken leg from my body? Is it not coping, learning and trying to be as capable as my other good leg?

To my surprise he understood well and agreed with me, too! But it took time and different situations encouraged him to understand his sister’s needs and difficulties! It took time for him to acknowledge the fact that no matter how much we try “she will never be normal” like rest of us! But we need to keep trying for small achievements which in turn give big satisfaction.

A friend pointed out, “Are you not snatching away your son’s childhood? Are you not expecting a lot more from a little boy?”
Probably “yes”
My son grew up faster…he learnt to cope better, he observed imperfection and disappointment on regular basis….he chose to smile and laugh to cheer up his family! By God’s grace, he will grow up to be a sensible and sensitive person, hopefully!

His father took him to movies of his choice, sat and watched his television serials and accompanied him to Karate and chess tournaments. The boys shared silly jokes and found new interests together….
I assured my son that after his sister’s last examination, I would be able to spend much more time with him! And that was a PROMISE!

“Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.”

– Betsy Jacobson, Business Consultant