Gratitude for the good times, faith during the trial times….
A friend visited me in December 2015 and heard me out; she suggested that I continue to VISUALIZE : my daughter working happily and peacefully in the library. She said that she had a lot of faith in visualization and assured me that things would workout in the best way possible. This brought back my positive thoughts and beliefs….as though Lord sent me a messenger to tell me ‘not to lose faith in Him’! there was no news from the organization regarding my daughter’s discontinuation after six-month-trial period. I actually carried something wooden always…for ‘touching wood’ whenever I feared losing this happiness.
My daughter sailed smoothly throughout the year of 2016. I connected with the organization regularly, worked on their feedback, at the same time prepared for 1st paper of library examination to be held in April 2017.
In January 2017, on our way to Amritsar in the train, I observed that she started having her anxiety attacks again after 9 years. Her gynecological challenges seemed to be back which could be causing emotional discomfort in addition to her physical pain.
We visited the golden temple, she covered her head with the scarf everytime it slipped off and repeated my prayers loudly and clearly! I told her that on our return, I would visit the gynecologist and the psychiatrist, do the necessary tests, give the prescribed medication and she would be fine.
SHE BELIEVED ME and I HAD FAITH IN ALMIGHTY.
The morning before leaving for Wagah border, she had a few panic attacks and I was shocked and pained to see her helpless and in so much of discomfort. For me…staying calm, not talking, praying silently and giving her time to settle, really helped! When you are in a situation, you need to find an immediate solution to handle it and then handle yourself! You need to make the choice, take the decision having faith in your own wisdom, because it needs to be quick and appropriate. By afternoon, I gathered courage and assured my family that SHE WILL BE FINE and will be able to handle all the walking and crowd in Wagah border. I was scared, very scared…
She enjoyed watching parade and took interest in the entire drill at the border of India and Pakistan. We returned to hotel peacefully.
In the evening a friend called me, who was also visiting Amritsar and insisted on me joining her to see the Golden temple at night. I was totally exhausted….mentally, physically and emotionally, after the roller coaster ride through the day….
My friend held my hand and took me around every corner of the temple, sharing the stories behind the pictures and rituals! I sat with the long queue of devotees praying for peace! I was healed and felt calm, filled with gratitude. My friend had no clue of what I went through during the day, she was definitely God sent !
After returning home, I visited the doctors and got a whole lot of blood tests done. A pleasant looking young man did a fine job of talking to my daughter patiently and giving her adequate time for pricking! These small mercies are what I am always grateful for. Gynecologist and psychiatrist, both were very understanding and cooperative! Though ultrasound seemed scary, my daughter was brave and managed that entire process pretty well!
Getting the right combination of medicines to have the right impact on her ailments, their side effects, my daughter’s inability to express and cope…were our primary concerns….now!
Build on past successes, be grateful for what you do have, and know that this, too, shall pass. It’s only for the now. Whatever we’re facing, it’s not forever. – Dave Pelzer
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