With every problem….comes a solution !
Medicines were being introduced gradually, increasing their intensity slowly so that my daughter could adjust to their side effects. Also one new medicine was introduced at one time, for us to have clarity on its effects on the ailment. We needed to be extra careful because expression of discomforts and emotions at different levels, is a huge challenge in Autism. I believe in having a clear discussion with the doctor, to have clarity on the role of a particular medicine. Reading up the internet is scary because as I am not a doctor I wouldn’t know which information is valid or applicable to me. By God’s grace my doctors were patient and compassionate!
I decided to focus primarily on her health, then her work in library and postponed her library exam to next year, 2018. In 2016 December we had planned a group tour to Eastern Europe to celebrate my daughter’s completion of Higher Secondary Examination and her placement for in the library. With her present health challenges, I was unsure if she would be able to bear the strain and face the challenges of a long trip in a group! Since a good amount of payment was already made, we decided not to cancel….rather wait and see if her health conditions improve….
By April 2017, her panic attacks reduced in frequency (to once a month) but not in intensity. When she got the attack, it would be extremely disturbing and draining to witness her discomfort and anguish! There was no specific trigger or environment which could be pointed out as the cause. It happened only at home and around family members.
She was fine at workplace and did a lot of work by taking breaks. She followed instructions given by the librarians and came home peacefully. Everyday after completing the assigned tasks, she wrote a mail, from the library to her HOD with CC to me. In her mail, she gave a short summary of what all she had done in library on that day! I would pray and wait patiently for her mail everyday in the afternoon.
I thanked the Lord for each day without the panic attack.
I geared up to prepare her physically, emotionally and mentally for the trip. We went through the detailed iterinary, made notes, took a look at the places we would be visiting, when and how. We discussed in detail about what all we would be seeing in Eastern Europe. We began practice of walking everyday, made a list of soft skills with emphasis on what to do and what not to do when we are travelling with a group of people. Her body needed 10 hours of sleep due to the medication and this kind of tour demanded travelling at odd hours which was unavoidable. We started to shift her sleep routine in the best way possible to suit the travelling plan. She had travelled abroad quite a few times before, but this time we had to take special precautions for her mental and physical health. We packed extra sets of medication, her prescription and a letter describing her condition.
After all the preparation, I was totally exhausted…what was the need to travel with with so much of apprehension….I wondered.
What if she falls asleep during layover and we’re unable to catch the connecting flight? What if she has a panic attack in flight or in bus, scaring the group and they refuse to travel with us?? What if she cannot walk the distances and the group gets stuck or delayed due to us?
I woke up next morning and told myself…My daughter has been taught the necessary skills, she has to travel with us, I will try and maintain a relaxed atmosphere…and God will take care!
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far it is possible to go.” — T.S. Eliot
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