Blessings in various forms….
2017 and 2018 were struggling and juggling with some very special moments for me in workplace and at home!
My colleagues and friends celebrated their happy moments with me which helped to rejuvenate my heart and soul. My work was very satisfying and motivating. Colleagues I worked closely with, were very supportive and encouraging. If I doubted my level of performance, they reminded me of my strengths and expressed their faith in me! Amongst all the chaos of my daughter’s health issues and medical confusion, we as a family managed to send her safely to work, with minimum days of leave taken! She delivered very well too, dealing and coping with all her challenges….
One fine day, we got a call from the HR department of my daughter’s organization. Yes it had happened! She was accepted in the organization…she signed a formal contract and she would be paid for her valuable work! It felt as though we completed drawing the circle….we reached the happy ending of the movie we were watching for so long….. yeah!!! We did it!!! I did an imaginary ‘high five’ with my Lord, up there! Then I shared the news with all my near and dear friends and family….those who had seen this dream with me and those who were unsure! I took my husband out to dine and my friends took turn in taking her out for a treat, each time to her choice of restaurant.
Finally I sat down to ask my child ‘how did she feel’ about getting money for her work?’ She could not identify the reason for this sudden celebration…for her, doing good work, getting appreciation and a small reward meant everything!
We were more than satisfied with my daughter’s work environment and sensitive approach of the staff ! But she ‘getting salary’ meant acceptance and respect to the person who is genuine and hard working, innocent and adjusting! I showed her the bank details of her salary, gave her the money and asked her what would she like to buy? She said that she was happy with a bottle of coke and two pieces of samosa! This reminded me….Thoda hai…thode ki zaroorat hai….
After increasing and balancing dosage of all her medications both homeopathic and allopathic, she seemed to be setting down gradually. Back in 2017, I had been taking her to an NGO in connaught place (which was her study centre for this course), once a month. This was a very different and challenging experience for her to sit amongst a mixed group of men/boys/ college girls from different family backgrounds. I sat on the last bench, listened to the lectures and kept an eye on her too! We travelled in metro and walked till the NGO. Initially her classmates could not relate to her….after 3 to 4 visits they approached her and wanted to know her! I resumed visiting the study centre for some guidance and tips. My daughter started showing interest in learning once again!
For submission of examination form, application and permission of reader to assist her, I visited NIOS Noida in April 2019. Then I decided to help her revise, learn and begin preparations for the examination of library science. A senior staff in NIOS office, came forward and offered all possible help to speed up the formalities and I was really very grateful to him for being so sensitive!
My daughter looked forward to sitting with me and learning happily after her regular work in library! My son now in 9th grade worked sincerely and gave me nothing to worry as such!
I observed strange conflict of emotions within me…felt like crying for no obvious reasons, felt sad in happy occasions and gathering….this was worrisome! Something was wrong with me…..
Dalai Lama:
… If you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.
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