Situations….neither can take ….nor can leave…
My daughter’s examination date for Library Science was scheduled for mid November 2019.We were studying and revising regularly till I realised that her reader/interpreter was busy with her own college examination. I did not have the energy to train or guide someone all over again to know, understand and support my daughter in the examination hall. Though I was confident that there would be some solution planned by God for this hurdle as well, I could feel the anxiety building up within! I felt tired!
Mother of my daughter’s reader and also my friend, very kindly offered to play the role of her reader. She had been around during my daughter’s higher school examinations… supporting and encouraging her own daughter to help my daughter in the best way possible. This was indeed a blessing! But we realised that she did not fulfill the ‘age’ criteria of the role of reader. We went through all the minute details of eligibility and provisions for amanuensis (scribe or reader), laid by NIOS. Considering my daughter’s present health condition, physically and mentally, we had to arrange for a request letter from her doctor, to allow an older support. This is the only time we chose to exercise the special facillity that she deserved, so that she could write her exam well and prove her potential, once again!
During this process, a senior gentleman in NIOS office, came forward and went out of the way to speed up the entire formalities! He was kind and assuring and offered to assign an exam centre nearer to our home….which eventually did not happen. So we got our centre all the way….in Dhaula Kuan. We had to work around her sleep pattern as the examination happens in the afternoon. With all the medication she has to take, her body had got used to extra sleep which happened in the afternoon. So I began waking her late in the morning and taking her for a ride in the afternoon. Then one afternoon we fixed a mock test at my friend’s (reader’s) place, I wanted to assist the reader in handling her discomfort/ emotion if need be, while writing the paper.
My school authority was supportive and understood the need of my presence beside my daughter…to win another challenge! My family did the best it could and I had to work hard this time to keep calm…I was still getting used to my medication and I was anxious! Our reader/friend assured me “Karna to hai…phir hans ke hi karte hain…” I agreed…that was the spirit and this was my belief too!
I assured myself constantly explaining that:
• nothing would happen if she could not clear the examination….
• if she got upset in the exam hall, reader would be able to take care.
• in worst situation, I would be allowed to go and pacify her, we had the necessary medical certificates and permission.
But all in vain…brain and heart refused to come into agreement…just like 2 railway tracks!!!
In spite of leaving home, well on time on the 1st day of examination, we got stuck in traffic, lost the way twice and got late in reaching the center. I tried my best to stay calm and keep smiling so that I did not pass on the anxiety to my daughter. The staff in school was very cooperative in completing the formalities quickly and in getting her settled in the room. Wishing her good luck, going over the dos and don’ts with the reader, I left the building.
As I sat near the school gate, I felt a lot of discomfort in my chest and short of breath….I chanted and read a book that I was carrying, ‘Sisu’, the Finnish art of courage.
“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full.”
Author: Proust
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