Having faith in whom you love the most…..

She held my hand around 2 a.m. and it was burning hot. I sprang up, grabbed the thermometer, requested her to open her mouth gently as I slipped in its tip under her tongue. Thermometer started beeping much quicker than I expected….and read 103. 1 degrees Fahrenheit. Any fear is larger when it’s night and dark. I began cold compression top to bottom and she cooperated. “Medha are you ok?” I asked. She opened her eyes slowly and said an yes!

Medha has never been so unwell before! Though running temperature for a week now, she complained of no pain and no discomfort other than headache during initial 4/5 days. I wondered, has her threshold of bearing pain gone high? or is she unable to express? Does she already know that whatever can be done is being done, so what’s the point in complaining?

I have been following my routine check list of asking her about various types of pain and other symptoms of illness. Thus, she had a channel of expression open….often in Autism this is a major hindrance in diagnosis of an ailment until it reaches an emergency!

Next day in the afternoon her temperature rose to 104.5, which I had never seen in real with anyone and we decided to take her to emergency of Max Hospital.

Though she boarded the car with no objection, I was terrified about canula, will she agree, will she have a meltdown? She is an adult now. How will we manage?

I had prepared her for hundreds of stuff several times earlier but not for hospital visits! They decided to shift her to ICU, as very high fever can damage the brain.

I was pleasantly surprised to see…She was calm, rather watching silently all the actions around her. Pricks on different spots on wrist and arm, blood samples being taken in short intervals….

She was calm, rather watching silently all the actions around her. Pricks on different spots on wrist and arm, blood samples being taken in short intervals….

Did she come to terms with the fact that these procedures need to be done and WILL be done….no point in  revolting! Has she acquired this understanding and maturity already? Or she had immense faith in her Mamma that she will make everything alright!

I was now worried about her jerky movements while turning right or left with the monitoring cables and drip. Each time she wanted to move, we needed to be alert to remind her of the precautions. Next morning we got a fair idea of the schedule, tests and frequency of doctors’ visits. Everyone was soft spoken, polite and patient with us.

Medha spent complete seven days in the hospital as her temperature still kept rising upto 103.5….she was suffering from Typhoid with late diagnosis. Medha learnt to understand and respond to questions asked by doctors, nurses, house keeping staff and especially the dietician! Generally fussy with her choice of menu even at home, hospital diet was a huge challenge. Her father played a major role in feeding her with motivation and patience.

During the night when shivering under four blankets, with A.C. off, she laid patiently waiting for the medicine to react. She cooperated with full body sponge, repeated change of canula placement….again going with the flow…. trusting her caretakers with full faith in her Mamma!

Throughout this experience I had a major learning, with faith and trust we can conquer FEAR and ANXIETY.

My friends, relatives and colleagues prayed hard and kept assuring me that this struggle will end soon….like always!

I  was truly impressed with myself on being relaxed with full confidence in the doctors and the treatment…above all Lord. If Medha could be so courageous and sure of getting cured finally, where is the worry? She taught me to HAVE FAITH….

” To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” —Alan Watts